what in the world, in all this world, is grace?

(Italics = AV’s words)

First refreshing my thinking by listing the words that resonate in my heart from this chapter, 5.

“the gigantic secret of the Christian,” joy hiding in the gratitude…

Fully live!Live fully!

Joy is always worth the wait, and fully living is worth the believing

Dare to celebrate innumerable endless gifts!

Daily discipline is the door to full freedom (argh!  That explains a lot.)

Evil is that –a hole in the goodness of god.  And the last paragraph on p. 88 provides me much to ponder, but I love the last sentence. “Above  the clouds, light never stops shining.” 

Perspective – how we see.   TRUTH for sure!

Can you believe that I tenderly, tirelessly work all for the best good of the whole world – because My flame of love for ou can never, ever be quenched?

Without God’s Word as a lens, the world warps.  (indeed it does, and quickly!)

It is suffering that has the realest possibility to bear down and deliver grace.  And grace that chooses to bear the cross of suffering overcomes that suffering. I need to breathe…So God transfigures all the world?

--mourning and dancing are but movements in His unfinished symphony of beauty.

So,  the first week of this school  year is over.  My bone-tired body is proof of survival and reminder to be thankful.  Without the Eucahristeo “lens,” the week is easily world-warped into a blur of madness.  I think eucharisteo…and the lens of His Word…and there was beauty and grace and a reason to fall gently and joyfully into a discipline that the school year provides.  My challenge – not letting the school year take over my spiritual disciplines or my entire life.  Hold on to the joy and to the discipline…realize that the time spent with my loving Father/God will provide the strength I lacked this week…when my Bible was not opened and my thoughts were filled with ohmygoodness how will I ever do this?  With God’s lens…I know this is possible and this is my purpose.  I sat in church this morning and was incredibly thankful for  the solace of my church family and the beauty of His grace I left filled with.  

So, grace, I am learning and relearning, requires my acceptance.  Acceptance requires acknowledgement...and  while grace is ALWAYS there for us, for me, it might be through discipline  that I am most able to accept it and live in it...

Hard Eucharisto

God is always good and I am always loved. This should be my mantra every morning, the discipline to see the good through the bad, the perspective(p. 89-perspective-how we see). life brings through the ugly beauty. It's hard to wake up alone and think you are loved, even harder to remember at night when trying to fall asleep. Is this why I've had such difficulty sleeping this past year-because I've forgotten that I am loved? Satan 's tongue darting (p91) saying failure, worthless, cheated?
Maybe instead of reading "pleasure" books before falling asleep my sleep will be made pleasurable if I read His word, if I fall asleep counting my blessings- a song I sang to my kids when they were young, a song I sang to my nephew this summer when he had a bad dream, a song that goes on my list today-when you're worried and you can't sleep just count your blessings instead of sheep and you'll fall asleep counting your blessings.
Being transfigured is a process that requires discipline- take the pain that is given, give thanks for it, and transform it into joy that fulfills empltiness-hard discipline (p.100) Hard Eucharisto but the hard brings the joy :)
Peace dear sisters.
Lisa

Just to See!!

Been away for a few days. No computer service...both bad and good! :) I spent some time catching up this morning...with me and Him. In Ann's writing she speaks of "chronic soul amnesia" pg 106. Wow, that is me so often. I know, I file it away, I say I will never forget, and still. On the other hand, I sense this is part of the beauty of being His. He does keep me close and close enough to bring back all He wants me to have and remember on the tip of my brain. Certain moments trigger a smile and I do not always feel so guilty now about forgetting His direction in some moments. The other day, my husband and I were waiting to hear if new health insurance was secured for us. I fussed all morning waiting to finalize. Then out of the blue I felt these hands on my shoulders saying..."ok, NOW give it to me." I ran and literally looked in the mirror at myself and chuckled. "Good one, God. I should have done that first, given it all to You...and I didn't...and now I am!" Problem resolved an hour later.
Sounds mundane and simple and is exactly all of that. For me a moment I won't forget. Yes, I am "chronic" and I am closer to Him and it's good to be His.
I started the day wanting to just SEE Him. I think I just did. Must be because "today...I am His favorite child." You are too, my dear sisters. Feel "favorite" today, "because you see, you are."
Missed you,
Watch for a blessing today! :)
Marylou

Time

So before I read chapter 4 I added to my slow going list of a thousand gifts (#'s23-29) and the first one was time to read and write and think and feel and play and be that summer gives to teachers, it is fleeing fast and I hope I've used it well. I hope I've been thank-full.

I am in a strange place with time-not just with the summer extra hours but without a family here like before. My head and heart have too much time and so I fill it up with the busy schedule(a life so full it can seem empty p63) the words she wrote about hurrying making us hurt and the hurt that drives us on really touched me-fleeing to escape the pain that pursues (p.67)looking ahead and fearing a life lived alone instead of being thank-full for all the lives and loves that fill my life each day. I am good at teaching this to my kids-esp Tess-be grateful for all you've seen and done and not what might get left unseen or undone-why is it so hard to teach myself?I need to preach it to the person who needs it the most-me (p73). The real problem really isn't too much time now or not enough in a few weeks that real problem is that failure to be thank-full for recognizing how much riduculous joy one moment can hold (p71). As I was writing this an image of Kallan as a baby standing naked in the rain came into my head-that free spirit of thankfull and the memories it brings are on my list today.
I want to be like Ann and be a hunter of beauty-its easy when I am outdoors running or hiking but harder to see indoors or in people but here's the beauty I saw today- a kind dental hygenist who went out of her way to make me feel comfy in a place where we all (and esp you Traci) feel awful but she did it-that's who I want to emulate today the person who makes others feel safe. She really exemplified the line wherever you are be all there (p.77). My prayer is to be all in!

See...that is JUST what I was talkin about....

I had missed Marylou's amazing 2 a.m. poetry which took my breath away just now...the beauty of the words and the memory of an ocean breeze (little pang of jealousy that I am not proud of, but can not deny)...wow.  Just wow. 


Can anyone see if we can make it so comments are viewed with posts??  And Marylou - you are HIS favorite child and I am thankful to be your sister!